About Awkward Dreamer

Blogger. Traveler. Reader.

The one with colors!

That moment when monochrome is the perfect color to describe life!

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‘Hello spring, goodbye winter’, says New York City!

Winter, or whatever is left of it, is season where days are spent sipping hot cup of coffee and nights are spent cuddling. And we say hello to spring, NYC has some winter-y and outdoorsy stuff for you to still do, if you can brave the cool wind. And if you are with your special someone, where else would you want to be? New York can bring out little stories of with its mighty charm.

Start by watching an early morning sunrise from Newport

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With the clouds hovering above, sun is a very rare sight. But watching the sun coming over a slight hue of orange and the Manhattan skyline standing tall and proud, it is a sight from another world. If you can’t think of a better way, Newport is perfect for you. The Boardwalk that starts from the PATH station can be your spot to jog and experience the radiance of NYC.

Take a walk down the Brooklyn Bridge

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Although, this walk is not seasonal, doing it at the onset of spring when it’s not too hot, not too cold is the equivalent of perfection. The symmetry, the reflections, the little locks on its side, the view- all are testament to the beauty this 1880s monument is. You could catch sight of the skyline, and far away in the distance stands the glory and pride of the free America- Lady Liberty. Make sure you carry a lock if you want an everlasting bond with you and your partner! *wink*

Take a stroll in Central Park


Central Park is the place you go to if you want to witness life in New York. And I literally mean LIFE. Between the concrete jungle and busy schedule, there’s not much time to stop and look around. In here, you can. You will find couples strolling, or a bunch of friends goofing around, you might also come across one or two Mozarts in the making. There’s just so much to do in Central Park.

Ice Skate on the Wollman Rink (Open till April)


Feed the Squirrels- you would be surprised at how bold and beautiful they are.


Feed the ducks- You can always follow the footsteps of Blair from Gossip Girl.


Or… just laze around and sunbathe- Take a pause, stop for a moment and just enjoy!


Because let’s face it. We might curse winter as much as we can, but it’s still the most romantic, beautiful and cosy season of all. And as we welcome spring, we can nothing but cherish the last few cool days!

Just another writer!


You write because you have an idea in your mind that feels so genuine, so important, so true. And yet, by the time this idea passes through the different filters of your mind, and into your hand, and onto the page or computer screen — it becomes distorted, and it’s been diminished. The writing you end up with is an approximation, if you’re lucky, of whatever it was you really wanted to say.

– Author Khaled Hosseini

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Writing- it’s a passion like no other. An art. An outlet for creativity. An observation. A tale. An insight. Or an upheaval of emotions.

Writing is all this, but so much more. And to me, it is everything. Writing is my escape, my therapy and my tranquil. It is a part of me that no matter how much I push away, won’t leave.

Hence, Voila! A 23 year old lost soul, drifting barely on a raft in this wide blue sea called life. And I am here to blog, about the mysteries of my heart, about the thoughts I can’t fathom and the passions that make me. And I am going to pour my soul out in these write-ups.

Travel is my soul. Call me a hodophile. And yet, ironically, I have an urge to travel to find my soul.

I write because I am in love with words. Call me a logophile.

I am the kind of person who thinks a Friday night plan should include spending the night with your favourite food and books. Call me a bibliophile.

My middle name should have been feminist, because well, I am a result inspired from Josephine March (Remember Little Women?). And because of the characters that I grew up with from the books I read and that I created with the stories I wrote, somehow they made me a rebel too.

I am complex, a web, a book, a mystery- each one of us are. Though rarely can we untangle this complexities for the world. Because Mr. Hosseini is absolutely right! I would be arguably fortunate if I can untangle even the slightest bit of what I imagine.  So, join me on this cacophonic journey as I, rather awkwardly and shamefully, share the exploits of the things that have been and the places that are. Join me as I try to untangle this knot, not just for the world but mainly for myself. Take a peek into my thoughts and if you have a thought to share- I’m all ears!

It’s Christmas time again, in NYC!

Christmas is a magical time on its own. The lights, the shopping, families and celebratory cheer! Coming from a non-Christian background, this festival was always intriguing from afar. Sure we had our little traditions at home, I had my one-foot long tree with books as presents. Oh and the cherry on top- the ten day winter holidays. But who was to say that few years down the line, I will be celebrating this magical day in the most magical city in the world. Walking down the 5th Avenue, I knew, if Christmas has any magic, it started at NYC.


Along 5th Avenue!

Families were out everywhere, so were the tourists, trying to capture the essence of Christmas in the Big Apple. Central Park was filled with happy faces, Christmas was warm this year. Kids were bundled up like pretty boxes of presents. It was a perfect day to ice-skate, spend some time with your family outside. It was a climate full of cheer!

DSC_6655Not further along the 5th Avenue was a landmark, standing like a tall Christmas tree. Anyone cold spot it far from a distance and know what it was and what it stood for. The identity of New York is incomplete without the Empire State in its full glory! And what a sight it was, like the brightest tree, dressed in the green and red lights. Adorned with appealing decor as you enter, and music that brings joy to the ears, you know you are in the Big Apple with sights like these.

Throughout the avenue, as I walked towards Times Square, on the corner of 39th Street, lights catch your eye. The sidewalk is filled with some more decorations to bring in Christmas. Lord and Taylor, the store in sight, displayed a theme of “A Few of Our Favorite Things” including the Gingerbread Kingdom and a Cuckoo Clock.


Here’s the Gingerbread kingdom!

And can Christmas in New York be complete without Rockefeller? There’s nothing more to be said for this given location other than Christmas tree, decorations, lights and people.


But a must not miss is the show opposite the Rockefeller centre on Saks Fifth Avenue building. A little sparkle, a little cheer, it celebrates the Christmas spirit with the ‘Winter Palace’ dancing to the tunes of ‘Carol of the bells’. The displays in the store window rejoice with the marvels of the world!

Even with the sounds of bells at St. Peter’s Cathedral ringing around me, I heard a very unfamiliar yet catchy tune out of nowhere!

“New York at Christmas, What a show! It’s a total Yuletide High,

From the seaport to Washington heights, every avenue is a string of lights.”

DSC_6682The halls at Radio City, right around the corner, are resonating with this beautiful song! For a moment you might think you are at the North Pole. Imagine getting a glimpse of Santas’s Workshop all with the elves and confetti!  Christmas Spectacular, the Do-No-Miss-This show during the holidays is just what you need and definitely the highlight of spending Holidays in NYC. To top it all, the Rockettes redefine synchronisation in dance. Slender legs, colourful outfits, Father Christmas and an original soundtrack, The Radio City Christmas Spectacular is a holiday tradition you must follow.

For anyone who has been in New York City for Christmas, they know Christmas is so much more when they see the Big Apple shine for all its worth! And as I leave Radio City, I know that a NYC Christmas means a bright tree, is a beautifully wrapped present, a cheerful humming, it’s knowing that in the spirit of NYC, “even the taxi horns seem to harmonize!”

I miss you so much… it hurts!

The song played on repeat in my head. No, not the song, the line- Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. Sigh! The power in these words were almost stinging my wounds. The pain it made me feel was unimaginable, beyond this harsh, hard reality.

Yes, I am moving away; yes, it’s another country; and yes, it’s a different time zone. Yes, I won’t see you for a long, long time; yes, it won’t be the same anymore and yes, thinking about this makes me miss you mad. I know it will be very different, I know it because I will feel it. Every day. Every day that I’m here and you’re there, I will feel it and I will miss you.

I will miss you when I wake up in the morning, knowing that I won’t be waking up to a ‘Good morning sexy!’ Instead I know a few hours of conversation is just going to turn to, “it’s late. Good night. I miss you.”

I will miss you when I am having a bad lunch because I know I won’t be able to just text you. You will be asleep, going away somewhere far in your dream land. The least I will do is hope to see you there.

I will miss you when I’m walking around in the streets of Boston, during a warm, summer afternoon. Because that’s when I’ll be living the dream we both dreamed.

I’ll miss you during the quiet evenings wondering when the sun will shine bright so I can hear from you again.

I will miss you when I am dancing alone at a nightclub while love is oozing all around me or when someone buys me a drink and I will have to politely refuse. And I know you will get up really early just so that I can finally receive a ‘Good morning’ only to see me reply ‘good night’. I will miss you even then.

I will miss you when I have your entire schedule memorized and you will have mine, but both of us just have a tiny bit of space in it for each other. I will miss you during all of those days that we spent together. Each day (read: every day) that holds a special memory that deserves a celebration.

I will miss your hugs, your kisses, your letters and your messages. I will miss your voice and your face, your smile and your warmth. I will even miss fighting with you or crying with you. I will miss insulting you, ridiculing you, laughing with you. I will miss gazing in your eyes, losing myself in you, becoming you.

I will miss your drama, your warning, your scolding and even your silent treatments.  And when this missing sill isn’t enough, I will miss you so much… until it hurts!

Yes, I know, I know what you will say- leave all the negativity aside, we will figure it out. We will prove all those fuckers against long distance relationships wrong. “Why are you bothering about all this right now,” you will ask. “We still have moments together.” I won’t deny and I won’t be negative. It will work, but before those few moments fall into my lap, and as I prepare for a takeoff, I will mourn.

Because no matter how happy I am, no matter how much fun I’ll have, I will still miss you, until I don’t have to anymore.

A Tryst of Fate!

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The sound of the bell woke her up. Third year lectures were becoming rather dreary. Half her semester had gone sleeping at home. Wait, there’s a more profound word for that – procrastination.  Yes, half her semester had been spent procrastinating. And if it wasn’t for Papa Principal and credits for attendance, she would have spent the rest doing the same.

She looked around, in her moment of self-contemplation; most of her peers had left. Phew, it was break time again. She looked at her watch, and a wide smile appeared on her face. The foyer was going to be very crowded, she wasn’t going to have enough time to even eat, and her friends had disappeared. There was still something that made her happy- She loved breaks, especially the one at 11.20.

The foyer was packed. Out of the corner of her eye, she found what (rather, who) she was looking for- four clowns – Aldrin, Daniel, Clint & Alex. There was some excitement in making new friends, it had been quite some time, and she missed the initial stages of knowing someone, having awkward silences. And with these guys, she had lots of them. It wasn’t long before she was surrounded with four puny boys- little did she know, Malhar 2012 had given her the best graduation gift.


Sigh. She was back in college six months since graduation, only this time it was a little different. For better, for worse. Clint was her best friend (presumably friendzoned), Daniel was her lovely brother (totally bro-zoned) and Aldrin was her crush, former crush. Alex, you ask? Well he was nowhere in the picture, he had moved on. And to think of it, she actually thought of all these guys, he’d be the one to stay. Fate meddled in a lot of ways, ways unpredictable, ways heart-breaking, ways that are clueless and ways that bring dread. She’d stopped making the efforts, she knew he wouldn’t. Why would he? He had a better life, better friends, occupied minds? But wishful thinking of the little heart never gave away, until the day he came back into her life, thanks to the mighty Daniel.

Fate. Wily fate. Always got in the middle of her plans. Her plans of never ever seeing him again, never talking to him again, all those lessons learnt and she went right back into the trap. The trap that was so wonderful, so beautiful, so overwhelming, yet so wrong.  A journey was about to start, and she wasn’t ready. There were jitters; there was nervousness, awkward laughter and lots of embarrassing moments. They both didn’t know what lay ahead, a roller coaster, a trip worthy of a lifetime, a game of emotions- LOVE.


A year had passed since that day. A year of fights, break-downs, memories, trips, moments, love. It was an overwhelming year of long distance relationship. Everyone was happy for her, but she could see it in their eyes, LDRs never work. And they might’ve been right if Alex and she were out to prove them wrong. But they weren’t. They were just two people who weren’t meant to be, but they fell in love and worked on their relationship. A year apart, yet so close.

Her flashback of their first year together went in haze. It was all too soon, too fast, too right. Their first kiss still sparked an emotion in her that was surreal. His voice still rang in her ears like yesterday, ‘I love you’, he’d said. He keeps saying. She knows he’s a dork, sloppy, lazy jerk, but she also knows this sloppy, dorky, lazy jerk is hers. The pleasure of this thought can beat anything. She loved him for he let her be who she was. She knew she was weird, she knew she was complicated, and she knew no one will be able to figure her out. He never did, either. He probably won’t, ever. But he tries; he makes an effort to make her happy, to bring that smile on her face.

To think of it, it all comes down to fate, isn’t it? He got over friendzone, people ask how. She says, “He stopped talking to me for 6 months.” They still have a laugh about it, the game fate played. The game it is still playing to get them to their first anniversary. It is just all about fate. Because after all, in the end, even she’s just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her!

My Son would Never Rape a Woman

My son would never rape a woman because it’s always consensual.
(very well written)

Epiphany in the Cacophony

sad-alone-cute-girl-waiting-someone-window My son would never rape a woman. It is brutal, disgusting and immoral. He simply isn’t capable of such a thing. She has obviously enticed him. __________________________________________________________

She was at the club when it happened. Short black dress, tall black drink. She stood in the middle of the dance floor, moved her hips slowly. She made eye contact with him. She even smiled. He walked up to her and asked her to meet him at his car. When she declined, he grabbed her arm.
And what a scene she created! She fought, screamed and kicked. You want this, he told her as he pulled her out of the club. NO, she screamed, yelling as he dragged her to his car. You don’t know what you want, you’re drunk.

She sat alone in the parking lot a few hours later. Disgusting girl, she reeked of smoke and alcohol. What…

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